Welcome!

The idea to start this blog was sparked today as I was reading The Purity Myth by Jessica Valenti. In general, whether I'm reading a book on women's issues or not, I am constantly battling them in my head. Being a woman, being raised by a woman who was in a terribly abusive marriage and yet displayed amazing strength and courage, and being passionate about striving for a world in which women are no longer oppressed, made me realize that I need to start blogging about all the "ah-ha" moments I have through these internal conversations.

You might be wondering about the blog title. Being a feminist, I still shudder just a tinge at using the word, not because I'm ashamed of being one (quite the contrary! as you will see in subsequent posts. :) ) but because of the connotation that the term has in our society today. It has become equated with "Feminazi" and male-hating and crazy and loud and ornery and bra-burning (which incidentally never did occur but the rumor spread like wildfire, as Sheila Tobias states in her book The Faces of Feminism). And in order to start the conversation with non-feminists to get closer to a more liberated world, perhaps using language that does not make people shudder could help.

But I am *not* a feminazi, hence the title "Femi-non-zi." I am about women being empowered, using more of their talents and abilities, not being viewed as sluts for enjoying sex, and not being told that they cannot, or should not, or *should*, just because they are women. I am for women's happiness NOT being based only on whether or not they are married, or have a boyfriend, or have kids, or have a particular type of body. I advocate for women making their own money to which their own name is attached so that they don't have to depend on someone for their livelihood. And I advocate for the law to stay away from their bodies.

As a dear friend of mine once so profoundly told me, there is a difference between "equality" and "equity." And to me, equality implies there is an equal sign, that everything on the right will balance out exactly to everything on the left. But the reality of the world is, that is not possible nor is it necessary. It's not possible in a relationship to use a balance sheet to check that one spouse did the dishes exactly 1/2 the time and the other 1/2 the time. Similarly, perhaps women cannot be totally equal to men and vice versa. After all, women have to be the ones to bear children, at least today, for the most part anyway. But that does not mean that the ground cannot be more equitable for the genders in society, just as a healthy relationship can be without a balance sheet for each chore.

So the goal of this blog is to share ah-ha moments and ideas on how we can get closer to more equity between men and women. I look forward to your thoughts!